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Gwyneth Paltrow vs. Judge Judy

sickitten — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 20:10:12 GMT

http://rageagainstthegoop.tumblr.com

Could be the winter doldrums, could be sleuthing crime cases for I am employing the logical deduction skills fresh from a Stanley Kaplan test prep course. I'm in Judith Sheindlin mode. A truthful soul need not worry because when you're telling the truth your logic will always fall in line. If it doesn't then a) you're lying/witholding details or b) you're dumb and believe we are also.

Feeling a little short tempered, sometimes to the point of outright exasperation, finding myself sort of mimicking Judge Judy in mannerisms and facial expressions. If only I required reading glasses, I could use this prop to punctuate my comments and questions.

Well imagine being in this mode while finding neither hide nor hair of a sane or rational person in the interview Gwyneth Paltrow granted Harper's Bazaar. Between the eye rolling and questioning/annoyed grimaces I'm in need of a full syringe of that Botox she claims to never indulge in. If she uses an alternative such as Dysport then she isn't fibbing, technically, but witholding information in an attempt to deceive.

If you're unfamiliar with Judy's style and demeanor, just click on the link provided above.

Let's bring her into Judy's courtroom, shall we? We'll see how she might hold up to scrutiny, Sheindlin Style

We'll focus on these conflicting statements as we wait for Paltrow to be sworn in:

“. . . I’m not having anything I’m allergic to—no gluten, no dairy, no sugar.” . . . When she's not detoxing, "I eat whatever I want. I like bread and cheese and wine, and that makes my life fun and enjoyable."

You stupid moron. If you're allergic(she means to say 'sensitive') to gluten, dairy and sugar then bread, cheese and wine are not going to be making your life fun and enjoyable.

Paltrow cover of Aussie mag Fair Lady

Paltrow admits taking a bath with her seven year old daughter and son, five.

Inappropriate? Watch what Judge Judy thinks of parents who do these creepy things here

JJ: Ms. Paltrow, what do you do for a living?

GP: I'm an actress, singer sometimes & I write a lifestyle newsletter

JJ: *adjusts & peers o/glasses* This newsletter, it's on the internet?

GP: I give advice about cool places to vi...

JJ: That's not what I asked you! It's a website, a blog?

GP: Um...

JJ: Um is not an answer! See, I'm just coming into the 21st century.

GP: Well my friends have always come to me for advice so I started...

JJ: Ms. Paltrow, where did you attend school?

GP: I went to Spence & then University of Santa Barbara when my dad...

JJ: I don't care about your dad. Santa Barbara. Ok. Did you graduate?

(to be continued)

See where we're going here? This interview is all over the place as she gears up to give her last saving grace that is GOOP an overhaul. She inappropriately mentions her seven year old daughter's sexuality in an effort to appeal to the gay community. She admits to taking a bath with her children who at their ages are more than capable to bathe themselves with limited supervision. Completely uncalled for and she doesn't realize she's setting herself up to lose in a future custody case against Chris Martin.

She manages to make her father's suffering all about herself. Throwing his memory under a bus as she essentially blames him for his own death! An insult to those who have lost a loved one to cancer, especially if it happened to be an innocent child. I won't even touch her quotes about the adrenal cortex. A twelve week cleanse four times a year equals how many weeks in total? You do the math because she didn't bother.

Image: http://rageagainstthegoop.tumblr.com/

Did you catch the spin control concerning her buddy Beyonce? She conveniently but not too shrewdly inserts a quote about the performer claiming she was vomiting between takes at a performance while in the early stages of pregnancy. All in an effort to 'prove' Knowles was indeed pregnant when we all know the speculation concerning that situation all over the globe. Look it up.

I suspect Paltrow herself wrote the entire copy of this article or at least edited it heavily. The giveaway?

But such consciousness has an emotional impetus as well: She cites the death in 2002 of her beloved father, director Bruce Paltrow, from throat cancer at 58—after decades of vodka and smoking—as a catalyst for her own conversion to clean living. "All I've learned about nutrition and health came from his cancer," she says. "I'll probably have a long and healthy life because he didn't."

Right, the use of the word impetus. Right there, this fluff piece has the cheesy stank of Paltrow all over it. Add to the fact that she's practicing yoga poses while conversing with a journalist is suspect. Try to picture that scenario in your mind. Wasn't it Gwyneth herself who blamed yoga for contributing to her boxy frame as she justified her cosmetic surgeries not more than a year ago? She forgets. Her statements negate her earlier interviews as well quotes within the same article. Why is that? She's a liar is why that is.

Her comments condoning extra marital affairs reveal to us the more likely condition of her marriage with Martin. Her concept of feminism is completely off the mark as she gives advice to her non existent celebrity friend.

This interview finished her. She'll forever be held up as an example, the poster girl of uneducated celebrities who talk out of their asses. She sealed her fate, she wrote her legacy. She offered up to her critics a banquet in which to feast. We're full and nursing a severe case of indigestion. There isn't any room to cover the photographer of choice paired with this propaganda failure. Keep an eye out for celebrity friends as this interview sinks in and they begin to distance themselves from her damaging association.

She's tried to repackage herself and sell herself to the public numerous times over the last two decades. Attempting to represent herself as hot shit on a silver platter but proving to us to be the exact opposite; which is cold diarrhea on a paper plate.

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Gwyneth Paltrow's Advice Falls Short Yet Again

sickitten — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:56:18 GMT

Fashionista covers this sad attempt to stay in the game

The Hollywood career is on the wane and she's looking for another avenue.

She's pinning her hopes on that GOOP but she's really not cut out to be giving

anybody advice, as we know so well.

Being a product of nepotism and connections can never replace the sage advice that comes from an individual who has truly lived and put the work

in. Cannot stress enough that anything worth having takes work-for it is the

law of The Universe. This applies to Gwyneth Paltrow because she is incapable of recognizing how most things in life work and that my friends is why she falls short time and time again. Natural talent may lighten your load but the work is a prerequisite. There is no shortcut or way around it.

I'd rather not

In this newsletter brimming with advice on starting a small business there is but one who merely touches on the fundamental concept I will sum up for you in six words.

Warby Parker's advice for budding entrepreneurs:

"The best businesses solve real customer needs. The most valuable thing we did before and after launch was spend time talking with and understanding our customers and their needs."

There's the old tired 'find your passion' riddled throughout. Nothing we haven't already learned. Fine for a quick peruse when you consider bringing that life long idea to fruition but really, let's be logical here.

Never stray from this start up business concept and you won't go wrong.

~FIND A NEED AND FILL IT~

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Find The Will, The Way Will Soon Follow

sickitten — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 07:01:05 GMT

The first night, very iffy

Looking good, Kid

Yes, he beat the odds. He made it but then I was crushed by the devastating test results, FIV, Leukemia Positive. Or was it FLV? Can't think right now. Usually, you put the kitten down but I know there are people out there that only have these cats and I was determined to find one. Turns out, he ended up with a former colleague of mine who is an absolute angel and volunteer at my local no-kill shelter. There was no way he was going down after beating the odds. See my posts link below on how Aztithromycin can save the sickest of kittens. It has been my saving grace in countless kitten and cat rescues. Check all of my entries regarding this kitten and see how I pulled off the impossible. I kept him too busy to die, I slept on the bathroom floor and never left his side. Balls to the wall. In it to win it!

Well, here he is this past holiday season in his loving home. Can't tell you how much these pics mean to me. I felt guilty at times asking this kitten to hold on...repeating to myself that Emily Dickinson poem to keep from becoming discouraged...

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chilliest land
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,

It asked a crumb of me.

Chance

Here's those posts from this summer

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Heather Locklear Here I Come

sickitten — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:43:53 GMT

Heather Drunk In Public

I read this statement from the sister of Heathler Locklear ~

"Heather became a different person on drugs," a source tells the show, adding that Locklear, who was spotted on Tuesday night at an L.A. Lakers game, may be heading into rehab shortly after her release.

2008

aaaaand the alarm bells went off aaaaand you know where

I went a-looking...straight off to her Wiki bio and the answer

is staring you in the face in the first flippin' paragraph!

She was raised in Thousand Oaks, Californiaand graduated from Newbury Park High School.^[1]^[2] Locklear is the youngest of four children.^[3] She is also of part Lumbee (Native American) descent.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_dehydrogenase

If you've seen the pictorial of Heather never taking her eyes off of the drink

it is familiar to many of us. The complete personality change her sister mentions is actually an allergic reaction to alcohol because she doesn't have the enzymes to metabolize the alcohol. Genetically, Heather is most

likely missing some of those enzymes listed above in the Wiki page I link to above. The high Heather receives from drinking vodka is waaaaay better than some experience that aren't missing those metabolic enzymes.

Sorry Heather, you just can't drink alcohol. There's a reason why Native Americans succumb to the disease. There's a reason why hard liquor is

illegal in many Inuit towns across the globe. They can't metabolize the alcohol and this leads to addiction and violence. All one really needs is to be a very small part indigenous to have this reaction. Many of these people are walking around not even knowing it.

There's often other clues if you know what to look for if you are one of these millions of people. A lactose intolerance is a big heads up but so

many don't even realize dairy products are making them ill. Depending on your inherited enzymes you may be able to consume milk and ice cream but not half cooked egg yolks. Perhaps they don't feel so well after consuming dairy but don't become sick enough to make the connection.

So there you have it. Next time you feel the urge to crack open that bottle of vodka, phone your dealer and request that 'Blue Ivy' strain that is making the rounds. Once you come to the realization of who you really are and recognize that you aren't crazy but allergic you'll be able to finally turn your back on alcohol. People who are allergic to nut products and shellfish must be diligent concerning their allergies and you aren't any different.

Heather, please get passed these obstacles because we need you to be able to star in the next upcoming night time soap as all of these reality shows have become tiresome and Ryan Seacrest must be stopped.

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This Crazy Bitch Is Single

sickitten — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:09:27 GMT

Super Human Paul Bedard

Just awestruck over catching Animal Planet's Gator Boys. It's not what you think...one of the main stars is from Massachusetts and he's an Ironman Triathlete champion.

Here's a little background on the man. WARNING: Graphic Video

Bitch is crazy, right? I just love that he not only rescues the gators but hugs and kisses them as well. Watch in amazement as he dives into a resident's pool and walks out balancing a gator on his head!

You've got to see the first episode, you'll be hooked. Here's the schedule for the upcoming shows and the website here

Sunday, January 15 / 04:00pm
Alligator Rampage
Sunday, January 15 / 05:00pm
Mud Gator Attacks
Sunday, January 15 / 09:00pm
Mama Gator Mayhem

After which, he happily offered a smooch to the 'gator Riffle was holding. But it came with a caveat: "You don't want to kiss him unless you've bought him dinner and told him you love him," said Bedard~

He can buy me dinner any ol' time

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I Admit I Now Watch 'MOB WIVES'

sickitten — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 01:29:25 GMT

The Cast of Mob Wives

Listen, I can't walk away and I bet that goes for a lot of folks in this tri-state area of NY, NJ and yes, CT. They're watching in shock as people from Staten Island take themselves seriously. SI is and was the official garbage dump and joke of all of New York. Look it up.

There's an area of Staten Island that has these gaudy mini-mansions squeezed together on postage stamp plots of land. A drive through is good for a laugh.

Jennifer Graziano, producer

The show centers around four women connected to organized crime and my favorite of any of these Italian-American docu-dramas is always the non-Italian character like Snooki.

This time around we have Drita D'Avanzo. A tiny little Albanian doll, daughter of immigrants, huge chip on shoulder. An apt description of her

physical characteristics, 'jolie laide'. Banging body, hooded almond eyes.

I relate to her. She's just like me...when I was fourteen.

She's the tough girl, the fighter, now the boxer. She just has so much pent up anger, she's gotta hit somebody or something. She's stuck. Stunted. She stayed there, in her mind, in junior high school and it colors all of her relationships. Her gumba husband in lock up tells her in a fit of anger to 'take her gift package and shove it up her dirty ass' and then she still talks to him!

She's obviously cut from a finer cloth genetically from some of the others on the show that hail from peasant on top of peasant stock. Drita doesn't know it yet but all of her problems now stem from alcohol abuse and her self esteem in the gutter. The cigarettes have to go on these girls...deep,masculine gravelly voices with poor diction and grammar makes working on your tight abs and ass almost inconsequential.

This show is so highly addictive. Play catch up here.

They have their own Wiki Mob Wives

Does anyone know if there's a jumping comment board revolving around this debacle? Would you be good enough to tell us where it is?

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She Thinks She's So Hot

sickitten — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 19:07:06 GMT

G-d's gift, right here people. I won't post the other "glamor shots" this one has on her Facebook profile. You'll laugh yourself silly. Nothing better than being pear-shaped and not seeing it and wearing all the wrong clothes for your body shape. It looks like she has an ass growing out of her hip. How delusional would one be to post this photo publicly and not see that?

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Gwyneth Is An Old Woman's Name

sickitten — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 06:36:58 GMT

Humiliating screenshot selling herself/gym memberships

According to this author. Did you see this? Few celebrities have publicly

outed Gwyneth Paltrow but this one referenced a time when she was dating

Brad Pitt. She really thought she was going to be the next Grace Kelly then.

You can just picture her being so snotty in a moody teenage fashion well into

her twenties and beyond.

I have seen a few comments here and there on the gossip blogs from New Yorkers

claiming she was rude and impatient about waiting in line when with her children.

"She wasn't terribly friendly. I thought, 'Where I come from, it's an old ladies' name anyway!'."

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Elizabeth Taylor's Hideous Hands

sickitten — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 23:01:47 GMT

Liz "models" not helping Krupp Diamond

Can't have it all. This from People

A few tidbits...

A SAPPHIRE AND DIAMOND SAUTOIR, BY BVLGARI

Some of Taylor’s larger baubles ended up selling to companies. The 33.19-carat Krupp Diamond, a gift from Richard Burton, reportedly went for $8.8 million to Daniel Pang, a representative of Korean hotel conglomerate E-Land, which plans to display the treasure at its E-World theme park in Daegu, according to the AFP. The heart-shaped Taj Mahal diamond went to a private buyer for $8.8 million, as well. And according to the New York Post, Bulgari anonymously bought back a staggering $20 million worth of jewels, including a 52.72-carat sapphire-and-diamond sautoir for $5.9 million and an emerald-and-diamond necklace for $6.1 million.

See who came out to browse the collection

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The Big Bar Refaeli Myth

sickitten — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 04:35:22 GMT

Bar on The French Riviera

Doing a little research into the whole Prince Harry/Chelsy Davy...thinking that she

is just what the geneticist ordered as far as breeding out that Hapsburgish gene pool

in our dear Windsors. This link lead to WonderWall showcasing a summer 2011

bikini pictorial. The owner of the odd body would be identified with a click.

Love the pink/purple pairing!

No surprise. Bar Refaeli always had a strange body with a long, boxy torso

disproportionate to unshapely bowed legs. See her nose jobs in the archives.

Full Facial Link: http://wonderwall.msn.com/movies/bar-refaeli-2674.gallery#!wallState=0__%2Fmovies%2Fbar-refaeli-2674.gallery%3FphotoId%3D8858

See what bearding for DiCaprio will get you? Lots of hype built around an

average looking girl with a rhinoplasty, strategically placed highlights and a

heavy hand on the photochop. Blake Lively and Gisele Bundchen fit in this

DiCaprio Butterface Trifecta. Ta da!

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SICKITTEN.COM

Gwyneth Paltrow vs. Judge Judy

Gwyneth Paltrow's Advice Falls Short Yet Again

Find The Will, The Way Will Soon Follow

Heather Locklear Here I Come

This Crazy Bitch Is Single

Show Schedule

I Admit I Now Watch 'MOB WIVES'

She Thinks She's So Hot

Gwyneth Is An Old Woman's Name

Elizabeth Taylor's Hideous Hands

The Big Bar Refaeli Myth