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a twisted take on celebrity gossip
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A SPECIAL BREED OF BRANGELOONIE


The Desperate and Black Childless Aniston



 



I haven't been posting tonight because I was so busy researching my hunch regarding a special breed of Brangeloonie.  My whole shtick and twisted take on Brangelina and
their phony shenanigans has placed me in the firing line of one particular Brangeloonie.

Behold the
Black Brangeloonie!

Now why would an African-American/Canadian run around to every gossip site and admonish anyone who dare to utter a negative word about the Golden Couple?

Come on, think now...



That is so f*cking lame.   All that energy spent defending the honor of The Brange just because they adopted someone of your race.  This person is no youngster either.

From
Black Celebrity Kids

jolie_zahara_1356.jpg
Zahara's mom is a beauty, unlike this Brangeloonie


She's obsessed with bashing Jennifer Aniston and anyone who doesn't want a boat load of children in their 20's.  Other commenters have noticed this and she's constantly going after anyone who dare be a Jen Hen.


Poor White TrAniston

I really went after my hunch when I checked to see if she'd posted in the Tiger Woods threads...and sure enough, there she is defending him, saying it's none of our business and it is between Elin and Tiger.

I had to dig for it and here it is~

@Chana: Click on this link

http://jjb.yuku.com/topic/585114?page=1176

and scroll down to see a really great enlarged photo of Z from the back. She has very soft, very curly hair. When it gets a little longer it will look good in braids. Her hair is exactly like mine was when I was a child.-
____________________________________________________________________

Of course, she eventually got Chana banned because Chana questioned her loyalty to
Zahara Jolie-Pitt.  That's Princess Z or Empress Z to you!

Chana happens to be black also.  The Brangeloonie will even turn on a sista.  For shame!

But her sick obsession with ripping Aniston to shreds always entails Jennifer's age and how she dresses inappropriately.

A firming face cream and a lip balm are riding on this one.


15ml/0.5 oz




         Name that Black Brangeloonie!


HINT:  She is very articulate w/perfect grammar & spelling

MORE HATS, BRANGELINA?




Hats to hide everything.  Remember, that's their M.O.

If they were truly clever, they'd have the boys don a hat here and there.

But the boys aren't losing their hair, giving themselves bad haircuts or hiding big abnormal
head shapes or unruly African hair.

Remember this from a few weeks ago when Shiloh wore a blanket on her head to hide her self given haircut?


Soon to be four years old

I cannot wait 'til the summertime and see what tricks they use.

Looking back a few years, there was talk that they were denied a second child from Africa to match the one they got there.  Could this be the TRUE reason they've decided to have the twins of their own?  I mean, Madonna had to go through hell to get that second kid from Africa.  Something to think about...

HOW DO THEY FIX THAT GUMBY TEETH FLAW?


Seems Cyrus had the nose done and eye bags, too

After seeing her sister, Noah Cyrus, it all makes sense.



All you have to do when you see a thread about Noah Cyrus on a blog and just count down the comments until you find the term "unfortunate looking".  It can be a new drinking game.  She'll need the surgery.

Am I right in thinking they shoot the upper lip full of Botox to make it less gummy?


From

Awful Plastic Surgery

Miley Cyrus is not flashing anymore gummy smiles. Earlier this year, there were reports that she had gotten veneers. I think she had a gingivectomy along with veneers. The surgery reduces overly large gums. Look at these before and after gingivectomy plastic surgery photos, click here. Notice how the patient’s lips are a bit larger. Miley’s lips are larger too.



It's called a Gingivectomy



I wonder if Jennifer Garner had this procedure.  Of course, her people claim that this is a photochop job but you just look in my Martha Stewart archives to see this procedure reversing itself.  That's why I suspect they use a round of Botox in the top lip.

Look I know, I lost one of my front teeth to an accident in adolescence.  I don't have this genetic abnormality but I am very aware about how gums react.  The dentist used to have to put a stopper between my gum and front tooth after building an acrylic tooth (that broke from time to time) because if he didn't stop the gum, it would grow over the tooth.  As an adult, you get the permanent cap/crown and then need to worry about your gums shrinking back, not growing anymore.

We've all know these kids in our schools growing up.  One poor girl had puffy, red gums, braces on teeth and wore a brace to correct scoliosis and you know, you would have loved her if she wasn't just so damn envious of others that had it genetically going on.

Just check out Miley's final intolerance after her mother got picked apart at the Oscars here:  http://www.dlisted.com/node/36471

Was fine with Noah getting ripped to shreds.  You know it!  Just imagine her ashtrayish voice saying this.  Ugh!

DON'T YA JUST DESPISE SILLY QUEENY QUEERS?



Butterface screams, "Look  at me!"



Of course you do, and even more so does the gay community.

Man, I can't wait for these twuntjuices to exit stage left...forever and ever



Why bring attention to such weak features?

At least this one's face is more palatable


Adam Lambert or Paula Dean?

You'll still always be a contestant...

It's all been done by this one ions ago.  Charismatic, fine featured
and a breeder to boot.  David Bowie has always been worth getting
worked up over.




Blond, Blue or Brunet, beautiful and original

He's set the standard for gender bending.

This is the same phenomenon as all of those Grace Kelly imitators.

Gwyneth Paltrow/Nicole Kidman, like you.

EXCELELLENT FREE GENEALOGY SITE BROUGHT TO US BY MORMONS


The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has a genealogical website that is free and is absolutely amazing.  Don't ever use pay sites unless absolutely necessary
because your local library usually has it for free and there are just so many other free
references.  Sometimes you've just gotta search a little.

The Mormons have this thing that if you convert to their religion that you need to know
who your ancestors are so you can bail them out of hell with this free pass.  A lot of the
records are redundant because many different people have updated this site.  You can
too with people who have recently passed.




When you first click on, go to the second tab in named "Search Records" right under the
tree logo.  Hover over that tab and click the first option, "Advanced Search".  To the left of
that field form, you will see "Pedigree Resource File", click it, now enter as much as you
know and sometimes very little info into those fields.

Here's the link of that page we just navigated to

Here's what the pages will look like when you get a hit:

http://individual%20record/ 

This is the black sheep side to my family.  Now all I have to do is click on his parents'
names of Edward Edmund and Cecile and I just keep clicking back to England and Ireland.
Click on his spouse's name, Nathalie and I end up in France centuries ago.  This side was
never well documented by our family because they didn't seem to hold the prominence, history and city life of the other folks.


Those Mormons are gonna save 'em all!

There are family crests and all kinds of stuff you can really get a start on some research.
Check out Rootsweb.com it's the free version of Ancestry.com.  But the Mormon site is quite good because it links to other free sites.

If you get going on this now, in your free time, I bet you can make up a nice supplemental gift for your mother or grandmother come this Mother's Day.

It's
FREE! 

p.s.- This will also keep your asses off of the porno and gossip sites.  Admit it!

Wait!  I've found Full Episodes of Who Do You Think You Are? SJP being mixed
up with witches, what are the odds?  You know I was too busy laughing at Jennifer Aniston jokes on Dlisted.com.  "Eau Va Rated"...the smell of mediocrity and baby oil.  Aah.

GWYNETH'S CHILDREN ATTEND HIGH GATES PRE-PREP


Homely Actress


God, that early 90's hair and the leggings to match



If only she'd go back to school, this uneducated plainster.

Can you imagine the payoff of the shots before this one?



No surprise this one has 'shiteous' hair.  Everything about her is SUB-PAR

BRANGELINA, WE'RE ON TO YOU & THE TWINS' BIG HEADS~


Pics from PinkIsTheNewBlog

More hats?  So many hats.  Hmm.

See the archives but especially this one:  http://sickitten.com/2010/02/22/something-is-not-right-with-brangelinas-twins.aspx

Obvious to those who listen to their gut instinct and have a little more educational background going on.  It's not hard to see through these celebs when you are an old soul who works P/T for Beelzebub.

THINGS YOU SHOULD ONLY BUY AT THE $ STORE


Dollartree.com Homepage


Screw the supermarkets and other stores when it comes to purchasing these items...

Light bulbs of all sorts


Reuse those X-mas lights

Dishwasher detergent

Cheap back up toilet paper

Back up sleep aids

Pet Urine remover


My Pet's Friend Urine Remover is the best.  You'll be able to keep and not hate the pet that is ruining your life.  No need for a drop off at the local shelter thanks to this stuff!
Sold at
DollarTree 

Laundry bags

Fake Febreze



Kitchen sponges

Bleach toilet bowl drops



All gift wrapping supplies

Pepper mills and spices

An ad from Dollar Tree

The only problem w/this place is you'll want to buy lots of things you don't need.
Please resist, a $ is still a $ and you may need it down the road.

Cars die, pets get sick.  You know...

Boy, I can't even find images for some of these products from DollarTree.  Who cares?

Saving money is a game, no matter how riche you might be.  The old money families are shopping right next to the trash at this joint.

BLAME IT ON THE ALCHYISM AND THE JEWISHY-BALD


Jules Kirby
Jules Kirby



Caught this from Gawker  (cute comments & vid)


A drunky butterface, it seems.



From Zimbio:

According to a weekend article about the show:
She’s the daughter of Manhattan power lawyer Roger Kirby and former French model/ballet dancer Irene Kirby, who is descended from the billionaire banking Dreyfus family (actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a cousin). Jules was arrested last July in the Hamptons after allegedly ripping down a large American flag off a mansion on Main Street.


Go check out Guest Of A Guest


Why it's Gwyneth Paltrow if she remained her natural self



We've all known someone with this "look" and it always ends poorly.

SOMEONE RUSH GWYNETH PALTROW TO THE HOSPITAL!


Gwyneth Paltrow & Apple Martin: Miracle Mile!



OMG!  She used this little shopping trip to the Miracle Mile as a blog post...

Let me explain where we are coming from.  First, see this

http://sickitten.com/2010/03/04/damn-i-could-have-given-gwyneth-a-beat-down-yesterday.aspx



The Americana shopping center is located on Long Island's Gold Coast
in Nassau County North Shore Long Island.  It's filthy fucking rich. Filthy!

It was developed for 'rich bitches' so they didn't have to schlepp all the way
into Manhattan's 5th Ave boutiques.  I even worked there one holiday season
at the now defunct B.Altman dept. store which took up the west end.

This delusional bitch is aiming you at a store that is way beyond anyone's means.
Being a former jeweler, I know the mark up and you have to place a phone call
to get the price of some jewelry at Hirshleifer's.

She writes...


I just indulged in a teeny bit of spring shopping (ah, the joy that spring could be around the corner!) and I think I may have found the best store EVER...It’s called Hirshleifer’s and it’s in Manhasset, Long Island of all places, and it’s been a Long Island girls’ secret for far too long. The girls at this family owned shop are incredible buyers and stylists — everything from Chanel to Boy, Brunello Cucinelli to Acne. It is so worth a trip out there, I can’t even tell you. If not, you can visit their online shop from wherever you may be. They have an exceptionally good menswear selection too.-

Gwyneth Paltrow, listen to me.  You need to start shopping at a place along the same
road of 25A, a little to the east and located in Brookville/Greenvale.  That place is known as Long Island University, C.W Post campus.  It's a great #'s crunching school (accountant/finance majors). Classes in economics and even equestrian shit.  On the
former estate of Marjorie Merriweather Post and it boasts a gorgeous tudor style mansion.

Man,  it's true.  If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

You know her husband despises her

You just know she's getting a cut off of the sales.  She doesn't do anything unless there's something in it for her.